Numb

I long to cry again. I don’t know what pain in my heart ails me but my life has gone dull. Lifeless. I do not wish for happiness for when it comes it seems a falsity. Sadness never lies to me. Her comfort is sincere and her pain grounds me. Numbness is my enemy. Like a thief in the night, he comes. Lying in wait for a moment of weakness. He is a disease that spreads consuming all areas of my life. Pleasures are lost or short-lived. Anger fades away. Joy can no longer be found. Passion has been traded for Apathy. I am left hoping for pain to ground me yet again. Tears are my saviour and Jesus my sponsor. Bring me tears and agony. Pain so intense I can’t sleep. I wish to cry rivers of lament and be rid of this detachment.